her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Randomize
