he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
