Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
