never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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