College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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