I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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