All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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