So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
