I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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