dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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