She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
