How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize