I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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