the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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