You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
