She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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