so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
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So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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