her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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