Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
