please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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