i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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