My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
