I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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