he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
