True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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