On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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