Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
