I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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