am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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