Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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