Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize