you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
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You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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