I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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