"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
