I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize