It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize