I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
