Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize