I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
