therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
