oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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