thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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