Banned from zoo.
Again?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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