I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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