the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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