tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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