Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
