I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Randomize
