I got her a Nickelback box set.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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