Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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