can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
