One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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