Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
