No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
