Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
