Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
