Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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