i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
