so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize