AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize